Saturday, March 29, 2014

Boss Of Bank

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''
The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''
''What about the green one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''
''What about the red one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''
The man says, ''What does HE do?''

The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''

Today is an annual account closing date.
Clear all our misunderstandings, hurt, anger, resentment, guilt, fears, rejections, failures, envy, misbehaviour, mistakes and all negative feelings.
Close the account.
Wish u a very happy, healthy & wealthy new financial year 2014-15.

 Two CAs went to an expensive restaurant...
Ordered 2 drinks and then got sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat them...
Waiter : Sorry ...Sirs !!! But you can't eat your OWN food here... Its against the rules ...
The CAs quietly looked at each other and EXCHANGED their sandwiches & continued their meals.
You can trust CAs to find wayouts n loopholes in any rules..
Happy March Ending!
Best answer ever
"Wife ask - why in all marriages girl sits on left side and boy on right side?
"Husband reply - According to profit and loss statement a/c all income is on right side and expenses are in left side".....
Happy march ending.

Once a DGM , AGM and BM of a Bank came across a jin.
Jin said I'll fulfill 3wishes but u r 3persons so I'll fulfill 1 wish each.
BM :- Send me to America with a lot of money. BM disappears..(wish fulfilled)
AGM:- Send me to Paris with a lots of gold coins and jewels. AGM disappears.. (wish fulfilled)
Jin to DGM:- What is your wish?
DGM :- I want these 2 idiots back for March Closing.. (wish fulfilled)
Moral:- Always Let The BOSS SPEAK FIRST(then you talk) !! 

🙎Ek ladki roz jab
college se
🏤ghar aati toh
ek ladke ko
🏤apne ghar ke 
bahar khadadekhti..
Aisa roz hota tha
even pura 1 saal beet gaya
aur woh ladka roz usko apne 🏤ghar ke saamne nazar ata..
Woh kuch nahi kehta tha bas chup chaap
kabhi agey pechay aur kabhi
apne mobile phone ko dekhta..
🙎Ladki ko yakeen hone laga ke ladka usse pyaar karta hai..
🙎Ladki ne apne ghar walo ko bataya.
👪Gharwalo ko ladka pasand aa gaya.
Gaav se bhi bade buzurg aa gaye.
Ek din ladki🙎 ne himmat karke uske paas jaake bol diya ke
tum 1 saal se aise mere 🏤ghar ke bahar khade rehte ho to hume pata chal gaya hai ki tum mujhse bahot pyar karte ho.
Main bhi tumse shaadi karne k liye ready hu.'
Ladka darr gaya aur fauran bola-
...Maaf karna behenji...
actually aapke ghar k
wi-fi pe password nahi hai..
Main to free mein data use karne aata hoon...

Bank's Agm : Tumhe aaj raat late sitting karni padegi!
Assistant Manager : kya hai saahab raat ko mere dhande ka time hota hai
Agm : kya matlab ?
Assistant : Saahab raat ko Auto chalata hu itni salary me ghar kahan chalta hai
Agm : Bas kar pagle rulayega kya. !! kabhi raat ko biwi bachon ko le ke aana meri golgappe ki 
dukan pe!!

Boy went to a girl's house 🏠 to propose to her.
He bought a lotus for her and was planning to kneel down before her with it.
He rang the bell. The door was opened and it was the girl's mom standing in front of him.

Terrified by her disgusted look, all he could say was..

"Aunty iss baar BJP ko hee vote Dena.. Abki baar, Modi Sarkaar".. 

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