कभी कभी मेरे दिल में ख्याल
आता है..!!
अगर ज़िन्दगी तेरी ज़ुल्फो कि
छाँव में गुज़र जाती तो
आता है..!!
अगर ज़िन्दगी तेरी ज़ुल्फो कि
छाँव में गुज़र जाती तो
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HOME LOAN लेने कि ज़रूरत ना पड़ती.!!
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HOME LOAN लेने कि ज़रूरत ना पड़ती.!!
All salary wale ppl must read this:-----
After 2 years of selfless service, I realized that I had not been promoted, no salary increment, no commendation.
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me, smiled and asked me to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day."
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me, smiled and asked me to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day."
I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain, and here's the conversation that took place.
Manager: How many days are there in a year?
Me: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Me: 24 Hours.
Manager: How long do u work in a day?
Me: 10am to 6pm
(i.e 8 hours a day.)
(i.e 8 hours a day.)
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Me: 8/24
i.e 1/3 (one third).
i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Me: 122
(1/3 x 366=122 days)
(1/3 x 366=122 days)
Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?
Me: No sir.
Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Me: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days
do u now have?
do u now have?
Me: 18 days.
Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?
Me: 4 days.
Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on Independance Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Me: 2 days Sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Me: 1 day sir!
Manager: Do u work on Diwali ?
Me: No Sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Me: None Sir!
Manager: So what r u claiming?
Me: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company
money all these days.
money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
(HR-HIGH RISK.)
(HR-HIGH RISK.)
एक दफा 3 लोग जिसमें से एक इंजीनियर एक डॉक्टर और एक बैंकर थे नाव से नदी पार कर रहे थे ।
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तभी नदी से एक जिन्न निकला और बोला ।
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जिन्न: तुम्हारी नाव अब मेरे कब्जे में है, अब तुम चारों एक एक कर नदी में कोई सामान फेंको, अगर मैं उस सामान को ढूँढ लिया तो तुम्हारी मौत निश्चित और अगर मैं नहीं ढूँढ पाया तो मैं तुम्हारा गुलाम ।...
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ये सुनते ही सबसे पहले इंजीनियर ने अपने बैग से पेपर पिन निकाला और नदी में फेंक दिया लेकिन जिन्न ने उसे ढूँढ निकाला और इंजीनियर को खत्म कर दिया ।
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अब डॉक्टर ने अपने पेन के रीफिल के नीब को निकाल कर नदी में फेंक दिया, लेकिन जिन्न ने उसे भी जल्द ही ढूँढ लिया और डॉक्टर की कहानी भी खत्म कर दी ।
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अब बारी बैंकर की थी, सो उसने अपने बैग में हाथ डाला तो उसे DISPRIN मिला, उसने उसे उछाल कर दूर नदी में फेंक दिया, फिर क्या 10 सेकंड में ही DISPRIN पानी में घुल गया ।
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फिर बैंकर ने कहा: चल बेटा, ब्राँच में बहुत काम PENDING पड़ा है ।
Whatever applies to the poor employee applies in equal measure to the manager too.
ReplyDeleteNice one sir
ReplyDeleteVery humorous
ReplyDeleteVery humorous
ReplyDeleteAwesome reply by HR
ReplyDeletewho said every Saturday as holiday?
ReplyDeleteActual Calculation should be
No days in a year 365
No of Total Sundays (-) 52
No of Saturday Holidays(-) 26
No of Public Holidays in Average(-) 19
No of Workings in a calender year 268
Who said Bankers works for 8 hours a day????
99% of us work for not less than 10 to 12 hours per day
In most of the cases we works on Sundays & Public Holidays !!!
We already Frustrated with the WORST EVER SEEN Settlement where a Central Govt Employee gets a Hike of 30%+ and a State Govt Employee gets a Hike of 43%,
And we get only Half or One Third of Their Hike....
Please Don't Irritate Us With those UNREAL Jokes
Really humorous
ReplyDelete