Saturday, June 17, 2017

Some Humour A Day Keeps the Boredom Away:


🌟If you have
Food in your fridge,
Clothes on your body,
A roof over your head and
A place 2 sleep,
You're richer than 75% of the entire world.
🌟If you have
Money in your wallet,
A little change,
And Can go anywhere you want
You are among the top 18% of the world's wealthy
🌟If you are alive today with more health than illness,
You are more blessed than the million people
who will not survive this week and die.
🌟If you can actually 'READ' this message
and understand it,
You are more fortunate than the 3 billion people in the
world who cannot see,
cannot read or suffer mental retardation.
🌟Life is not about complaining pain and sorrows.
It's about a thousand other reasons to Thank our
Happy Living

*Does It Make Sense?*

Three friends had an accident in a car and became unconscious. A stranger got to the scene and wanted to call for help. He had no phone. *There were six mobile phones in the accident car but all had password on them*.
They all died as a result....!

A pregnant lady collapsed at home with her little daughter. The little girl had no idea of what was happening but saw her mother gasping for air. *She picked her mother's phone to call her Daddy but there was a password on the phone*.
She lost her life.....!

Whose fault?

*My advice is this.*
You are too precious than the information you are securing on your phone.

Only put password on your WhatsApp, Text messages, Facebook, files, etc and leave the call side free. You may one day save your life or the life of your loved ones.

*The password on your phone can be your death warrant.*

Think twice.

A message worth spreading.....creating awareness is real HUMANITY than sympathising or emphathising on the situation....

 Difference between talent and god’s gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hrs on any subject.
-This is talent.

A wife can give lecture for 2 hrs without any subject.
-This is god’s gift.

 Amitabh Bacchan decides to drive his new Aston Martin luxury car and asks his driver to sit on the back seat.

A Police Hawaldar stops the car for jumping the signal.

On seeing Amitabh driving the car, he calls his ACP and asks him "Sir signal jumping ke liye gaadi rokki hai. Lekin challan nahi de sakta. Gadi mein bahut bada Sahab baitha hai. Kya karoon?"

ACP asks "Kaun sahab hai gaadi main?"

Hawaldar "Pata nahi kaun sahab hai. Lekin usne Amitabh Bachhan ko driver rakha hai."

Amitabh shocked !

: Some Humour A Day Keeps the Boredom Away:

I asked my wife what sort of books she's interested in.

She said - Cheque books.

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.


Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Definition of Nurse :  A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.

Boss:- We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?

New employee: Yes, sir.

Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.


Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A:  Because they are already leading a dog's life!


Q: What's the similarity between mother & wife?

A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.


What's the difference between a good secretary and a personal secretary?

One says "Good morning, boss".

The other says "It's morning, boss."

 Keep smiling!!

: पिता के वचन :-  कन्यादान नहीं करूंगा जाओ ,
                मैं नहीं मानता इसे ,
क्योंकि मेरी बेटी कोई चीज़ नहीं ,जिसको दान में दे दूँ ;
मैं बांधता हूँ बेटी तुम्हें एक पवित्र बंधन में ,
       पति के साथ मिलकर निभाना तुम ,
मैं तुम्हें अलविदा नहीं कह रहा ,
 आज से तुम्हारे दो घर ,जब जी चाहे आना तुम ,
  जहाँ जा रही हो ,खूब प्यार बरसाना तुम ,
सब को अपना बनाना तुम ,पर कभी भी
  न मर मर के जीना ,न जी जी के मरना तुम ,
तुम अन्नपूर्णा , शक्ति , रति सब तुम ,
        ज़िंदगी को भरपूर जीना तुम ,
न तुम बेचारी , न अबला ,
       खुद को असहाय कभी न समझना तुम ,
मैं दान नहीं कर रहा तुम्हें ,
        मोहब्बत के एक और बंधन में बाँध रहा हूँ ,
उसे बखूबी निभाना तुम .................
*- एक नयी सोच एक नयी पहल*सभी बेटियां के लिए *

गली से एक भिखारी गुज़र रहा था,
 एक घर का दरवाज़ा खुला था और अंदर एक बुढ़िया बैठी थी। उसे देख भिखारी बोला,
 "खाने के लिए रोटी दे दो, अम्मा।
"बुढ़िया: रोटी तो अभी बनी नहीं है, बाद में आना।
भिखारी: ठीक है ये लो मेरा मोबाइल नंबर जब बन जाये तो मिस कॉल मार देना।
ये सुन बुढ़िया के होश उड़ गए पर वो कहाँ कम थी बोली,
"मिस कॉल क्या करनी, जब बन जाएगी तो WhatsApp पे डाल दूंगी। वहीँ से डाउनलोड करके खा लेना।"ये सुनकर भिखारी बेहोश हो गयI.

 गाय  हमारी
 *COW* बन गयी,

                    शर्म हया अब
                  *WOW* बन गयी,

  काढ़ा  हमारा
*CHAI* बन गया,

                     छोरा बेचारा
                   *GUY* बन गया,

    योग हमारा
 *YOGA* बन गया,

                     घर का जोगी
                  *JOGA* बन गया,

 भोजन 100 रु.
*PLATE* बन गया,

         ..हमारा भारत
       *GREAT* बन गया..

  घर की दीवारेँ
 *WALL* बन गयी,

*SHOPING MALL*बन गयीँ,

                               गली मोहल्ला
                               *WARD* बन गया,

*LORD* बन गया,

                               माँ हमारी
                                *MOM* बन गयी,

*ITEM BOMB* बन गयीँ,

                                  तुलसी की जगह
                             *मनी प्लांट* ने ले ली..!

  काकी की जगह
  *आंटी* ने ले ली..!

                         पिता जी  *डैड* हो गये..!  
                                भाई तो अब *ब्रो* हो गये..!
      बेचारी बहन भी अब *सिस*  हो गयी..!

  दादी की लोरी तो अब
 *टांय टांय फिस्स* हो गयी।

   जीती जागती माँ बच्चों के
      लिए *ममी* हो गयी..!

        रोटी अब अच्छी कैसे लगे
 *मैग्गी जो इतनी यम्मी* हो गयी..!

गाय का आशियाना अब
      शहरों की *सड़कों* पर बचा है..!

             विदेशी कुत्तों ने लोगों के
   कंधों पर बैठकर *इतिहास* रचा है..!

    बहुत दुःखी हूँ ये सब देखकर
          दिल टूट रहा है..!

      *हमारे द्वारा ही हमारी*
      *भारतीय सभ्यता का*        *साथ छूट रहा है....*

            एक मेसेज
    *भारतीय सभ्यता के नाम..*.

*Amitabh Bacchan* says..."At the peak of my career, I was once travelling by plane. The passenger next to me was elderly gentleman dressed in a simple shirt
and pants. He appeared to be
middle class, and well educated.
Other passengers  perhaps recognising who I was, but this gentleman appeared to be
unconcerned of my presence... He was reading his paper, looking out of the window, and when tea was served, he sipped it quietly.
Trying to strike a conversation with him I smiled. The man courteously smiled back and said 'Hello'.
We got talking and I brought up the subject of cinema and movies and asked, 'Do you watch films?'
The man replied, 'Oh, very few.
I did see one many years ago.'
I mentioned that I worked in the movie industry.
 The man replied.." oh, that’s nice. What do you do?'
I replied, 'I am an actor '
The man nodded, 'Oh,  that's
wonderful!'  And that was it...
When we landed, I held out
my hand and said, " It was good to travel with you. By the way, my name is Amitabh Bacchan !'
The man shook my hand
and smiled, "Thank you... nice to have met you..I am *J. R. D. Tata!"*
I learned on.that day that no matter how big you think you. are, there is always someone *bigger than you*.

*Be humble, it costs nothing.*

          *B E H A V I O R*
             Is always *Greater*
          Than *_Knowledge,_*
         Because In Life There
           Are Many Situations
            Where *Knowledge*
           Fails But *_Behaviour_*
                  Can Handle
             *E V E R Y T H I N G.*

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