Some Small Jokes

THERE ARE 4 KINDs OF MEN..

1. THE EUROPEANS
they have 1 wife and 1 girlfrnd but they love their wife most .

2 THE AMERICANS
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfrnd but they love their girlfrnd the most..

3. The ARABS
They have 4 wives and 1 girlfrnd. But they love their camel the most

And the best one:
4. THE INDIANS
They have 1 wife and 4 girlfrnds but they love their mother the most.

Dr: Which soap do u use? 
Mohan: Bajrang da Neem wala sabun, 

Dr: Which paste? 
Mohan: Bajrang da Ayurvedic paste, 

Dr: Shampoo?
Mohan: Bajrang da Herbal shampoo.

Dr: Hair oil?
Mohan: Bajrang da Amla tel...

Dr: Is Bajrang a MultiNational Company Brand or a popular local company In your Punjab ?

Mohan: No, Bajrang is my room-mate..

Once, a Bengali Babu went to Gulzar Sahib to learn Shairi. Gulzar Sahib asked the Bengali to repeat after him:

"Na Gila Karunga,
Na Shikwa Karunga... 
Tu Salaamat Rahe is duniya me ,
Rab Se Yahi Dua Karunga."

The Bengali Babu repeated:

"Na Geela Korega,
Na Sukha Korega....
Tum Saala, Mat Raho is Duniya me ,
Rob Se Yehi Dua Korega"


Santa Car ki Battery change karwane gaya.
Mechanic: Sahab, Exide ki Daal doon?
Santa: Nahin yaar,
Dono side ki de warna phir Problem hogi.
--------------------------

Ek admi khade-khade chaabi se apna kaan
khujla raha tha
Santa use gaur se dekhte hue bola-
Bhaisahab, aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka
lagau.
---------------------------

In exam hall a girl to santa:
Mujhe bas is ans ki starting bata do baki main
likh lungi.
SANTA ne dhyan se idhar-udhar dekha,fir dhire
se bola:
“The”
---------------------------

Santa ke lips jale hue the
Banta: Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway station drop krne gaya
tha.
Banta: To?
Santa: Khushi ke mare.
Train ke engine ko choom liya!!!......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
😛
Ladke wale: Hamko Ladki Pasand He,
Shadi Kab Karni He ?
Ladki wale : Abhi to Ladki study kar rahi hai,
Ladke wale:Ha to hamara ladka konsa chhota he jo books faad dega.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife : "Naari" Ka Matlab Kya Hai?

Husband : Naari Ka Matlab Hai Shakti.

Wife : To Phir Purush Ka Matlab Kya Hai?

Husband : 'Sahan Shakti' 
---------------------------------------
Ladkiwale - Hame aisa Ladka chahiye jo Paan, Cigrette, Daru na leta ho....
Sirf Boiled Khana khae..... Din Raat Bhagwan ka Naam le......

Pandit - Aisa ladka to apko wo samane wale Leelavati Hospital ke ICU mein hee milega....

4 sardaro ne mil ke 
petrol pump khola
1 bhi customer nai aaya ..Kyun..?

Petrol pump was on 1st floor..

Chal ek aur...

Fir charo ne usi floor pe
Restuarent khola
1 bhi customer nahi.. Kyu..?

Petrol pump ka board nai hataya..

Chal ek aur...

Fir charo ne 1 taxi li.
1 bhi sawari nahi.. Kyu..?

2 sardar aage 
Aur 2 piche baith ke 
Sawari dhund rahe the..

Chal ek aur...

Taxi kharab ho gayi. 
Charo ne khub dhakka lagaya.
Taxi wahi ki wahi...Kyu..?

2 aage se and 2 piche se dhakka de rahe the..

Chal ek aur....

Fir charo ne 1 bachhe ko
kidnap kiya.
Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rs le ke aa, warna tujhe maar denge.

Bachha ghar gaya
Aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye....Kyu..?

Bachhe ka bap bhi sardar tha...! 

Plz, phone mat fek dena.


1 Chinese , 1 Gora aur 1 Sardar 
ship mein ja rahe the..

1 Jinn aaya aur bola:
Samundar me koi cheez pheko,
agar maine dhoond li to main tumhe maar dunga,
Aur na dhoond paya to main tumhara Gulam!

Chinese ne needle phenki.

Jinn ne dhoond li or use maar diya..

Gore ne memory card phenka.
Jinn ne dhoond liya or use bhi maar diya..

Sardar ne kuch phenka,
Gin ne bahut dhuna, dhun dhun ke thak gaya aur puchne laga batao mere aaaka main haar gaya, Sardar bola: main bhi tumhara baap hu, maine disprin ki goli fenki thi, Chal Beta, Ghar Chal
Bahut Kaam Pada Hai!

JINN Shocked 
&

Sardar ROCKED
Bale Bale 


GOD SAID "I CAN'T BE EVERYWHERE,
SO I CREATED MOTHER".

DEVIL REPLIED "EVEN I CAN't BE EVERYWHERE
SO I CREATED MOTHER-IN-LAW"!!
Rishta whi soch nayi.:-

Husband to wife: Today is a fine day.
Next day he says: Today is a fine day.
Again next day, he says same thing: Today is a fine day.
Finally after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband:Since one week, you are saying this 'Today is a fine day'. I am fed up. What's the matter?


Husband: Last week when we had an argument, you said, 'I will leave you one fine day.' I was just trying to remind you.
If a man is allowed to select
a girl from 100 girls
.
and even if he picks the most
beautiful girl,
.
.
he still FEELS the PAIN of losing the
remaining NINETY NINE...
.
.
.
and
Women says... men don't have
FEELINGS..

-----------@@@@@@-----------

Baith kar mehbuba ki Baho me Aisa JosH Aaya..
.
.
Wah!
Wah!
Wah!!
Wah!!
.
.
Baith kar mehbuba ki Baho me Aisa JosH Aaya...
Phirrrrr...?
Phir kya.! Biwi Ne Dekh Liya aur ICU Me Hosh
Aaya..

-----------@@@@@@-----------

Wife = Where R u.?
Husband = I'm At "Bank"
.
Wife = Wow thats good I need 20,000 For new Cell Phone ,5,000 for new dress , 6000 for new shoes, 4000 for new purse, 8000 for my new cosmetics
Husband Sorry ,
I mean
I am at Blood bank

"KHOON PIYEGI

KHOON ?"🍷🍷🍷 🍷


-----------@@@@@@-----------

Jagjit Singh singing- Yeh daulat b lelo, yeh shohrat bhi lelo..
..Suddenly Santa stands up& says- Main toh bahut pareshan hun,meri toh aurat b lelo....

-----------@@@@@@--------

-----------@@@@@@-----------

Dedicated to all couples
Always keep your wives/husbands picture as mobile screen saver. Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say: if I can handle this, I can handle anything!

-----------@@@@@@-----------

Loving couple before Marriage: 'Janu.. tum nahi to main nahi, main nahi to tum nahi.'
The same couple after Marriage: 'Maa kasam' Aaj tu nahi ya main nahi...


Nice line by Swami Vivekananda:

"Zindagi mein achhe logon ki talaash mat karo.
Khud achhe ban jao, shayad kisi ki talaash poori ho jaye.

Ek Aadmi Jyotish se,

”Meri shadi kyon nahi ho rahi hai?”

Jyotish: ” kaise hogi pagley? 

Kundli me sukh hi sukh likha hai!!

Male criteria for life partner...
They expect their women to Look like "Miss Universe" and
Work like"Shanta Bai..."

Females' criteria for life partner.... They expect their man to earn like ...Ambani & behave like Manmohan Singh.

Dedicated to all couples



एक आदमी इंदौर के एक अस्पताल में अंतिम साँसे गिन रहा था ।उसके पास उसकी पत्नी,बच्चे एवं नर्स खड़े थे।आदमी अपने बड़े पुत्र से : तुम मेरे साकेत वाले 15 बंगले ले लो।पुत्री से : तुम मेरे विजय नगर वाले 8 बंगले ले लो।छोटे पुत्र से : तुम मेरे सबसे छोटे और प्रिय बेटे हो मैं तुम्हारा भविष्य उज्जवल देखना चाहता हूँ इसलिए तुम मेरे जवाहर मार्ग वाले 20 ऑफिस ले लो।पत्नी से : तुम मेरे पलासिया वाली बिल्डिंगों के सभी 11 फ्लैट ले लो।पास में खड़ी नर्स प्रभावित होते हुए पत्नी से बोली आप बहुत ही भाग्यशाली है की आपको इतने अमिर पति मिले जो आपको इतनी सारी जायदाद देकर जा रहे है।पत्नी नर्स से बोलीकौन अमीर, कौनसी जायदाद,अरे ये तो हम सबको जिम्मेदारियां दे रहे है.....सुबह सुवह दूध पहुँचाने की।

SARDAR APNI SISTER KE SAATH BIKE PE JA RAHA THA. 
BOY: OH! PAAJIj GIRLFRIEND K SAATH KAHA JA RAHE HO

SARDAR: OYE ! GIRLFRIEND HOGI TERI MERI TO SISTER HAI.

👭👭👭👭👭

Sardar ka Padosi Mar Gaya:
Wo Uske Ghar Gaya or Pucha: Body Aa Gai Kya?
Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi.
Sardar: Lo Batao,
Kitni Lambi Umar Hai. 
😛😛😛😛😛
※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Sardar Ki Ma Ki Death Ho Gai,
Ek Saal Bad Sardar Ka Baap America Se Wapis Aya, Us Ne Pucha Teri Ma Kahan Hai,
Sardar Bola Woh To Pichlay Saal Hi Mar Gai Thi, Sardar Ka Baap Rone Laga Or Bola Kuttay,
Kaminay To Tune Mujhay Btaya Q Nhi, Sardar Bola-
Me Ne Socha Surprise DunGa...

😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

SARDAR and HIS WIFE GOING 2 CITY IN AUTO....
DRIVER ADJUSTED MIRROR..
SARDARJI SHOUTED U R SEEING MY WIFE...

GO and SIT BACK I WILL DRIVE THE AUTO.

Hospital me Nurse: Mubarak ho apke Ghar beta paida hua he!

Sardar: Wahe Guru! Kya Technology hai. Biwi yaha hospital me he aur beta ghar me paida hua hai

BoY : Ro kyu rhi ho..??

GaL :  Mere Marks bahot kam aaye hai...

BoY : Bata kitne aaye hai..??

GaL : Sirf 88% ..

Boy : Khuda ka Khauf kr Kamini..
Itne mein to 2 Ladke Pass ho jate hai...!!
===================
Straight Insult :

HUSBAND: Ye kaisa khana bnaya h tumne, bilkul gobar jaisa......?

WIFE : Hey bhagwan is aadmi ne to har cheez chakh rakhi hai...😀
====================
Classic insult..
.
.
Girl:"meri 1-1 saans pe 1-1 ladka
marta hai..
Boy:"to tum koi accha sa toothpaste
istimaal kyo nahi karti..??..

This is hilarious...
A foreigner asked Indian Husband,
"Why Indian Women have Red Dot on their forehead ?"

Indian replied,
"Because they Record everything.."

When a girl Is in her Mayka, she stays like a RANI, 




Jab Shaadi hokar jati hai toh LAXMI kehlati hai, 💴💶

Aur Sasural me Kaam Karte-Karte BAI ban jaati hai.

Is tarah Ladkiya RANI-LAXMI-BAI ban jati hai! !!!!